This post is about the power of objectivity.
It is scientifically easier to deal with other people’s problems than your own, and this phenomenon is supported by psychological research. There are several reasons for this:
1. Emotional Distance:
When you’re dealing with someone else’s problems, you have a degree of emotional detachment. This distance allows you to think more clearly and logically. Your emotions aren’t as heavily involved, so you can assess the situation more objectively.
In contrast, when dealing with your own problems, emotions like fear, anxiety, and stress can cloud your judgment, making it harder to think rationally and solve the issue effectively.
2. Cognitive Biases:
Self-Serving Bias: We tend to be biased when evaluating our own actions and decisions. This bias can make it harder to recognize our own mistakes or shortcomings, which can hinder problem-solving. When looking at someone else’s problem, we’re less likely to be influenced by these biases.
I was once given the advice: talk to yourself the way you would your best friend. Why was I given this advice? Because I, like so many other people, would never speak to my best friend the way I spoke to myself. And in the long run, negative self-talk will cause you a lot of mental problems. You can end up like me, who one day woke up and realized I didn’t like the person I had become. I dind’t even like my own thoughts.
Introspection Illusion: We believe we know ourselves better than we actually do, which can make it difficult to recognize the true nature of our own problems.
3. Perspective:
Research shows that when we think about other people’s problems, we tend to adopt a broader, more abstract perspective. This allows us to see solutions and possibilities that we might not consider when we’re too close to our own problems.
A study published in Psychological Science found that people are better at reasoning through another person’s relationship conflicts than their own. This is called the Solomon’s Paradox, named after the biblical King Solomon, who was known for his wisdom when solving others’ problems, but struggled with his own personal issues.
4. Problem Complexity:
When it comes to personal problems, we are often dealing with a web of interconnected issues that involve our goals, identity, and relationships. This complexity makes it more challenging to untangle and address effectively. With someone else’s problem, you’re not as emotionally entangled, so it often appears simpler and more straightforward.
5. Decision Paralysis:
For personal problems, the stakes feel higher, and we might experience decision paralysis because of the fear of making the wrong choice. With other people’s problems, we’re more willing to take risks or suggest bold solutions because the consequences don’t directly affect us.
Conclusion:
It’s easier to deal with other people’s problems because we have emotional distance, fewer cognitive biases, a broader perspective, and less decision-related stress. These factors allow us to think more clearly and offer solutions that may seem obvious but can be difficult to see in our own situations.
The Power of Objectivity
Mel Robbins’ concept of the “power of objectivity” is a mental tool designed to help people gain clarity and distance when dealing with emotional or stressful situations. The idea is to step outside of your own perspective and view the situation as if you were an objective third party, which can reduce emotional intensity and lead to better decision-making. Here are key points about this concept:
1. What Is The Power of Objectivity
The “power of objectivity” encourages you to detach emotionally from a situation and look at it from a neutral, outside perspective. It’s a way of creating mental distance, which helps prevent your emotions from clouding your judgment. Robbins often suggests thinking about what advice you would give a friend in the same situation, or how someone you respect might handle it.
2. How Does It Work
When emotions like fear, anxiety, or anger take over, they can distort your perception and lead to impulsive decisions. By practicing objectivity, you mentally step back and ask yourself how an outsider would view the problem. This shift helps you see the situation more clearly, making it easier to act rationally rather than react emotionally.
3. Why It’s Effective
Reduces Emotional Overwhelm: Objectivity creates a buffer between you and your emotions, allowing you to calm down and think logically.
Improves Problem-Solving: When you’re not entangled in the emotional side of things, you can assess the situation more effectively and come up with better solutions.
Empowers Decision-Making: Viewing the situation objectively gives you a sense of control. Instead of feeling like a victim of circumstances, you can make empowered choices.
4. Practical Application
Ask Questions: Robbins suggests asking yourself questions like, “What advice would I give someone else in this situation?” or “What would someone I admire do?”
Use Physical Distance: Sometimes physically stepping away from the situation—taking a walk or changing environments—can help you gain mental distance as well.
Use Time: Another way to gain objectivity is by thinking about how you’ll view the situation in the future. “Will this matter in a year?” This technique helps put things into perspective.
5. Benefits
Increased Resilience: By regularly practicing objectivity, you train yourself to respond to challenges with a cool head, which builds resilience over time.
Greater Confidence: When you handle situations with objectivity, you gain confidence in your ability to navigate tough circumstances.
Mel Robbins often highlights that the power of objectivity is a tool anyone can use, and it’s especially useful in moments of doubt or stress. It’s about shifting from being emotionally reactive to being thoughtfully proactive.
